As a parent, you want nothing more than to understand, support, and connect with your child. But between busy schedules, school runs, and daily responsibilities, it’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming we already know what our children are thinking and feeling.
Over the years, I’ve found that asking the right questions can open up powerful conversations. These six questions are ones I ask every child I work with. They offer a valuable window into your child’s world and are a great starting point for building trust and deepening your relationship.
Here are 6 important questions to ask your child and why they matter:
1. What are some things we, as your parents, worry about that we really don’t need to?
Children are more attuned to our stress than we realise. This question gives them space to let us know when we’re perhaps worrying unnecessarily about their grades, friendships, or future and helps us ease off where more trust and calm is needed.
2. What are some things we don’t worry about, but maybe should?
Sometimes the things that trouble our children don’t even register on our radar. Whether it’s something happening at school, a fear they’re not voicing, or a feeling of loneliness we can only respond to what we know. This question helps uncover the hidden concerns.
3. What do you enjoy doing with us the most?
This simple question reminds us what truly matters to our child. It’s not always the big outings or special treats it’s often the everyday moments, like playing board games, having chats before bed, or making dinner together. These answers help us prioritise meaningful connection.
4. What do you think we don’t quite understand about the world you’re growing up in?
The world is changing fast, and our children are navigating a reality very different from the one we knew. Whether it’s technology, social media, or school dynamics, this question shows we’re open to learning and that we value their insights and experience.
5. What do you feel we don’t always understand about you?
This is one of the most powerful questions we can ask. It shows humility, respect, and a willingness to truly see our child. Their answers can reveal how we can support them better, love them more intentionally, and parent with greater empathy.
6. What do we do that makes you feel really loved?
Love looks different to every child. For some, it’s words of affirmation. For others, it’s quality time, physical affection, or acts of service. Understanding how your child feels most loved helps you express your care in ways that truly resonate.
Asking these questions isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being present, curious, and open. When we invite our children to share their inner world, we create a safe and nurturing space that supports their emotional growth and deepens our bond with them.
So tonight, at the dinner table or during a quiet moment at bedtime, pick one question and start the conversation. You might be amazed by what your child reveals.
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